If It Happens Again
- Repeat once, firmer: “I asked you not to do that.”
- End the interaction: “I’m leaving this conversation now.” Walk away.
- Work escalation: Document time/place. If it’s part of a pattern, report to HR or the organizer with factual notes (who/what/when/where).
If You Liked It (and want to escalate safely)
- Keep it light: “Text me and try a proper invite instead.”
- Set the tone: “Flirty is fine; respect is required.”
- Choose a public first meetup and share details with a friend.
Nonverbal Tools That Help Instantly
- Finger lock: close your fingers together to block further tracing.
- Handshake cap: slide your left hand over your right to “cap” the shake and halt the motion.
- Angle shift: rotate your wrist slightly downward—stops fingertips from reaching your palm.
- Step-out pivot: half-turn your shoulders to end contact calmly.
Green Flags vs. Red Flags
Green flags
- He apologizes or adjusts when you set a boundary.
- He laughs it off respectfully and doesn’t repeat it.
- His overall behavior feels easy and kind.
Red flags
- Repeats after you ask him to stop.
- Couple the scratch with cornering, crude jokes, or alcohol pressure.
- Tries to frame your boundary as “overreacting.”
Respond to red flags with a firm stop plus exit—and document at work events.
Common Pitfalls (and better moves)
- Freezing or laughing it off → Use a short line: “Handshake only, thanks.”
- Over-explaining → One sentence is enough.
- Retaliatory teasing → Keep it calm and clear; no need to one-up.
- Blaming yourself → His choice, your boundary. Period.
Follow-Up Texts You Can Send Later
If interested
- “Good to meet you. Coffee Thursday 5pm?”
If unsure
- “Nice chatting. Not into touchy greetings—fine to connect by message.”
If not interested
- “I’m not interested in anything beyond professional/cordial contact.”
FAQ
Could it be innocent?
Yes. Some people fidget or think it’s playful. You still get to set the rule for your body.
What about cultural differences?
Greetings vary. If you’re unsure, correct it once kindly. Respectful people adapt quickly.
How do I keep it professional without awkwardness?
Name the standard and move on: “Professional handshake only.” Then switch topics right away.
Quick Reference Card (screenshot this)
PALMS
Pause + close your hand.
Assess context and your feeling.
Label lightly (optional).
Make your boundary in one line.
Steer: engage, neutral, or exit.
You don’t need to decode motives to act. A clear boundary delivered calmly is both classy and effective.
